Hey, it’s Kyle again with Thrive In Chaos
So this is the second video in our mini-workshop so if you haven’t seen the first one, please go back and watch it because these videos build on each other and I wouldn’t want you to get lost.
On the first video we talked about belief and what you REALLY want for your family.
So on this video let’s talk about the simplest way to get started today getting what you REALLY want.
So to do that let’s break this down a little bit.
When we talked to you about your dream for your family, we understand there’s a need for it to be simple and you need to start seeing results FAST.
Which to me means in the first few weeks you can plug in to the recipe and start seeing the fruits of your labors.
It CAN’T be complicated and it CAN’T take years or it’s just NOT going to get done. So, let’s take a second here and cut through a lot of the bologna out there. Cause there’s a lot of it.
There’s so much information and mis-information out there that it’s kinda crazy. The world KNOWS that the number of kids diagnosed on the autism spectrum is rising and along with that has come a slew of… “EXPERTS” and even – dare I say it – PREDATORS.
And these PREDATORS think, “Here’s a market, they’re desperate for hope – what can I sell them as a “quick fix” and promise them the world so I can get their money?
And they’re selling and teaching all kinds of stuff that’s over complicated, it doesn’t apply to US in our situation and frankly, a lot of it’s just flat-out wrong.
Then there’s the conventional wisdom that says go see the doctors and the psychologists and the therapists, you know… the “EXPERTS”… ALL pushing all kinds of different answers to how to raise your kids on the spectrum. Oh, and you’ll go see them… forever… and pay them… forever. Some of them – heck, MOST of them – don’t even HAVE kids on the spectrum.
They’ve never lived your life, they have no idea what you go through on a daily basis.
They PREACH and TEACH help. But who are they really helping?
The problem is still overwhelming.
Show me a HUNDRED families that go to these experts that live with autism in their homes and I’ll show you 99 and a half families that are all STILL on the autism roller coaster. They are walking around on eggshells, living with tremendous stress and strain.
It’s affecting families, marriages, typical kids and even “our kids on the spectrum.”
Listen to this.
I spoke at an autism conference a few years back and afterwards was approached by 3 young men on the spectrum who were in my presentation. The MOST verbal said to me… in broken English, “I wish my parents knew what you were sharing when I was growing up.” When I asked why, he (through a lot of effort) told me, “Because THEN they would have been happy.”
Through more conversation I learned that because of the stress and strain in their homes growing up, these 3 young men decided THEY… were the reason for their parent’s stress and strain and unhappiness… and divorce… and sibling’s struggles… and now there was a devide between them and their families. Everything (they thought) was their fault. The fault of THEIR AUTISM.
They felt GUILY for causing all the problems. Can you imagine if you’re child ended up feeling that way? It’s a horrible thought isn’t it?
And, no matter how much I tried to explain that I’m sure their parents loved them and just didn’t know how to handle the situation, they were CONVINCED… THEY were the reason for all their families’ unhappiness and one of them even told me that he wished he had never been born…
Because his family would have been better off without him.
It hurt my heart SO bad to see what had become of these families… that like us, at one point… didn’t know what to do.
Listen, I have 2 sons on the spectrum and imagining one of them EVEN MIGHT feel that way… well, it hurts to imagine that.
All we knew at the time was that we had watched what was happening to families just like ours that were trying to just LIVE with the stress and tension. We had watched as spouses became more and more disconnected and more often than not, ended in divorce. We watched as it became more and more common and the relationships these families had with each other were becoming seriously strained.
We committed to NOT letting that happen to us, our family or our children.
I’m sure those young men’s parents were like most of us.
We’ve got all these experts with all these degrees telling us to spend YEARS working our butts off with very, VERY limited results. I call that “work your butt off and cross your fingers training.”
And does anybody really do that? SO MUCH WORK that does nothing more than lead to burnout, it leads to failed marriages and families… and it leads to giving up on your dreams of happiness. It leads to families like yours just GIVING in to the thought that it’s just “OUR NEW REALITY.” It completely fails the question that we asked at the beginning of these videos.
Remember?
IS it even possible – as you’re raising a child on the spectrum – to remove the REALLY HARD, Low, Low’s that seem to be so common… and have a happy family, where everyone WANTS to be around because of the fun and joy that’s there?
Remember THAT question?
All that “hope killing” work you’re doing, all that effort you’ve put in and STILL, the Autism roller-coaster. The ups and downs. The high peaks of happinesss… and then the valleys that are sometimes SO LOW that we forget the high peaks.
What they’re doing definitely isn’t fast, It’s definitely not easy. And it just hasn’t worked. This is the main reason why SO many people just resign to the fact that this is their NEW life. Maybe it’s the reason YOU’VE given up on your dreams.
But you KNOW you want happiness. You believe you can THRIVE as a family. You KNOW there are others doing it right now.
So why would you take that slow path to THRIVING as a family. You want real answers, you don’t want more fluff. You want to plug in to a program that you can actually do and start seeing results fast.
So here’s what we do that’s different. The THRIVE In Chaos way.
We teach you three core pillars and everything else revolves around that. So, let’s talk about that for a second and why it works so well for everyone who believes and tries to do that.
The 3 core pillars are… Make Your Past an Asset… Thrive IN Chaos… and Create a Compelling Future.
So let’s look at each pillar in a bit more details so you can see how powerful this really is.
We’ll start with:
Making your Past an Asset
What we learned (real early) was that there were things in our past that were limiting our happiness. There were events that had shaped our way of thinking – and created beliefs – that preventing us from moving forward in a productive manner. There were dramatic and sometimes even traumatic events that had created thought processes and conditions that were limiting.
These events were making it almost impossible for us as a family to move forward in the most fruitful way. We had to face our limiting memories and beliefs; and then, quickly reshape how we saw them and thought about them so that we could use them as a “launching point” for our Lives moving forward.
Now this may sound complicated… but don’t let it scare you AT ALL. We’ve been able to create and perfect a ONE PAGE worksheet that we’ve used with other families with astounding results.
No matter WHAT we’ve experienced in the past, we can RISE above it with shocking speed and enduring impact.
The second pillar is called Thrive IN Chaos
It’s real easy to TALK about what you’ll do when times get tough, but when the crap hits the fan, or you’re faced with serious trials, or you have to deal with “the hard stuff” it’s easy to fall back in to unproductive habits that lead to unhappiness.
You’ll learn how to easily and effectively “trigger” yourself when it SEEMS the world is falling down around you. You’ll learn how to manage ALL situations and as you become and expert, you’ll even learn to properly value the experience WHILE it’s happening.
The louder or more uncontrollable or more angry or – heaven forbid – even abusive or physical – they become, the calmer, cooler and more collected you’ll became. When they need YOU to be kind, patient, and loving to help them recover – THAT’S exactly who you’ll be. When they’re at their worst, you’ll be at your best.
Listen, it’s amazing when your family or others or especially when YOU realize that YOU can do what’s best for others and yourself during trials. You feel better, trials don’t seem so hard, your life gets better and those around you are swept up in your joy. That’s what we’re talking about here. The flat out JOY that can result from doing what’s right… for the right reasons… even when the crap hits the fan.
I was at a conference one time and shared this principle with Darcy, who the very next day, found me and came running towards me and almost hugged the life out of me.
Surprised I said, what’s going on? Remember that 5 minute conversation we had yesterday… Yep, I said.
Well, I used it this morning when my son on the spectrum and I were getting ready and took what was going to be a really hard day and turned it in to a success – a GREAT day. My son on the spectrum is happy, and I couldn’t be happier.
That’s the power of what you’ll learn.
And the third and final pillar we call: Creating a Compelling Future
We know that anyone can do something hard for an hour… or a day… or maybe a week… or a month… but when faced with years, or with decades or a lifetime, it’s easy to get discouraged.
You will understand in detail why it’s so important to have “something to look forward to” and you’ll have created your own “Compelling Future” and know what to do, step-by-step to make that a reality.
We may need to say this again, “it’s NOT hard” because we’ve systemized it to a point where ALL families can make this a reality.
I’ll never forget the day I got an email from Kyra where the subject read, “I did it!” with about 20 exclamation points. Inside there was no words.
So, I immediately called her and learned she had – in minutes – applied this pillar in a real life situation and was SO excited, she stopped what she was doing and sent me that email from her phone.
And you know what. The best thing about these pillars are that they are principle based. Sure we’ll teach you some tricks and techniques that will help you but only AFTER you understand the 3 pillars.
You know, we had NO IDEA how impactful this was going to be on OUR family when we first developed these pillars and the supporting information under each, but I WISH you could spend a day with us or one of the families we’ve partnered with.
You’d see what you WANT – you’d see the DREAM in action. Please don’t take this the wrong way. I’m NOT saying this to impress you or to toot our own family’s horn. I just want you to see and know it’s not only possible… but probable if you plug in to the system WE use right now.
I want you to see that it doesn’t have to be so hard. Creating the kind of family you dreamed about can be as simple as plugging in and following simple directions.
The families that are currently THRIVING are just like you. There’s big (like ours) and small families. There’s families with one child on the spectrum and MANY (like us) children on the spectrum. There’s even single parent families that are THRIVING by understanding how to – and using – these 3 pillars in their lives. You can do it, too
So, in the next video, we’re going to make this “come alive” by sharing with you some intimate details of our lives and those we’ve helped so click on the next video and let’s get started.
We’ll see you on the next video.